Safe from the Losing Fight

I’m finishing up packing. Like last year, I’ve decided to drive the twelve hours from Dallas to Chattanooga, as opposed to flying. It’s actually a pretty easy drive (I-20 most of the way), but it is a bit long, so I’ll be getting up early tomorrow.

Christmas is probably a time of reflection for just about everyone, but it is especially for me for a couple of reasons. First, I have a long drive, by myself, which seems to instigate reflection. Second, I’ve lived away from my family for several years now, and Christmas is the only regular time of the year I get to see them.

This Christmas is one of firsts, both good and bad.

It is the first Christmas that we, as a family, won’t all be together. My older brother is in the Army, currently stationed in Iraq. The Army did give him some time off recently, but for national security reasons they couldn’t divulge when until he was pretty much here. i.e. He called on Friday to let us know he would be home on Monday. Because of the insanely short notice, I couldn’t get time off to go visit him, seeing I had already scheduled time off for Christmas. We talked over the phone a couple of times while he was here, but it just wasn’t the same. We’re both strong introverts so we didn’t talk a lot, and didn’t talk about anything of importance. And even if we had, it’s just not the same as having him there on Christmas.

That’s not say that this Christmas is all bad.

It is the first Christmas that Elaine, my girlfriend, is spending with me and my family. With engagement imminent, I’m hoping this is a start of spending all of our Christmases together. Yes, I know that previous statement was extremely sappy, and I make no apologies about it.

Each year I look back and notice how my life has changed. Sometimes it is a little, sometimes a lot. It just seems to me this is one of those watershed years.